I was only 18 when I got pregnant for the first time.
18 years old.
Still a child myself really.
I think its pretty typical for a new mom to have no clue what to expect while pregnant or after the baby arrives. But I feel like when your so young and naïve its a whole different ball game.
My first thought when I became pregnant was that I couldn’t wait to eat whatever I wanted to. It sounds so horrible when I think about it. But I was young and dumb and hungry…
So I did just that, I ate whatever I wanted. I had the WORST diet. Fast food drive thrus. Take out. And seconds and thirds of almost every meal. And my body paid for it! 70 lbs plus!
I don’t think I really had any clue what was truly going to happen after this baby was born. My mind was just so young and immature that I didn’t think of it. I knew my body was changing. And I knew there was going to be a tiny human for me to take care of after all was said and done. But for the most part I was clueless.
BUT…I promised myself I wouldn’t be a statistic. I wouldn’t be the “typical” teen mom that everyone looking in from the outside would judge. I wouldn’t have my parents taking care of MY baby.
I would be responsible.
I would raise this baby the RIGHT way.
Cecilia was born on May 26th 2005. Delivery was intense. I was fading fast and her heart rate was dropping. I literally felt like I had nothing left to give.
Finally….She was born…and she was blue.
I was delusional. I had no idea what was going on, but instead of laying her on my chest or placing her in my arms, they took her over to the table.
My mom and husband were in the delivery room. And I remember asking what was going on. My mom fighting back tears just said “Shes good” and turned away.
It seemed like hours went by, but in reality it was probably only about two minutes….When I finally heard the sound of a newborn baby. The cry that every parent longs to hear as soon as the baby is born.
She really was ok.
My baby girl was alive and thriving. And suddenly that naïve immature 18 year old girl was gone. Replaced with a mother.
A mother who would quickly find out that there really is no RIGHT way to parent. But their is a RIGHT way for each individual parent.
Does that make sense?
Basically you learn as you go. You find out what is right for you and your baby. You fail. You succeed. You laugh. You cry. You do your absolute best. But sometimes you need help. Sometimes you need advice. And that is O.K…
I do take pride in my parenting. “MY” way is just a way that works for me. And maybe it will work for you too. Maybe some of the advice I share on this blog will change your life. Maybe it wont. But I am extremely proud of who my children are today, and would love to be able to help even one person get through this parenting struggle.
I believe in schedules, but not ones that are so strict that you can’t even go to a birthday party because your kid has to nap at exactly 1:00.
I believe in messes. One day they won’t be there, enjoy them while you can.
I believe in letting them run around and play outside, but find no guilt in putting them in front of a tv for hours on end when you are at your wits end and just need a day.
I believe that germs are good for you but When the stomach bug comes around you’ll see my family in a bubble and I’ll probably bathe them in Lysol wipes
**Definitely would NEVER bathe them in Lysol wipes**
I believe that yelling is wrong. It just makes you look like you are out of control and they will take advantage of you all day long when they believe you are out of control.
I believe in talking to them like they are people. They are just humans like you and I trying to get through in this world and learning as they go, and it is our job to teach them. They will make mistakes, just like you. Don’t make them feel dumb or like they are any less because of that. They spilled a cup of milk, or knocked over a picture frame and broke it. Don’t over react. Glass and picture frames are replaceable and its just spilled milk. Self Reflect. I’m sure you have broken or spilled things yourself in your life time, think about how you would want to be treated in that situation.
I believe in being their friend but also remembering that you ARE their PARENT first.
They will be mad at you, but they will get over it.
I believe in the word NO. But I really really enjoy the word YES.
I believe that every individual child is unique and may not respond the same to certain methods that your other child did.
I believe that family should ALWAYS come first. I absolutely adore my friendships that I’ve made over the years, but family is and will always be my #1! And I believe in teaching my kids the same thing. When they are growing up and making friendships I want them to know how important they are, but never choose a friend over your family.
I believe in distraction. One of my FAVORITES!! When they are crying over the popsicle you said no too just gasp and ask them if they heard that….They’ll stop crying so they can hear it….And you’ll say something, whatever it is you can think of, “did you hear that helicopter over our house, lets go see if its there!” “Did you hear that timer beep, that means its times to read a book!” “Did you hear the phone ring? maybe it was santa clause!” This one will truly save your sanity!
So I guess that leads me to my next belief….I believe in little white lies!
I’m just an average mom like you, trying to learn as I go. Trying everything I can to raise smart, independent, kind children. My end goal is to simply get them through all of those difficult moments in each stage of their life. Helping them to choose wisely when it comes to picking friends and dealing with peer pressure.
I was 18 when I had my first baby. 20 when I had my second. And 28 when I had my third.
It never really gets easier per say. Parenting is hard. You wear your heart on your sleeve. You will worry day in and day out for basically the rest of your existence. But my god is it the most rewarding and amazing job you will EVER have!
Thank you Cecilia Catherine. For allowing me to learn at such a young age what my true purpose in life really was.
